Smirnoff No. 21 Vodka

Vodka is already hard enough to review as it's meant to be a neutral, blank slate spirit. Smirnoff is even harder to review because not only is it so ubiquitous, but it leads the pack of cheap vodkas. Do you review it compared to its other cheap brethren or, given it's pervasiveness, against the backdrop of all vodkas? That's no easy question to answer let alone when you consider that Smirnoff is truly one of the most characterless vodkas on the market. Given vodka's lack of flavor texture sticks out. Smirnoff quite literally doesn't have any texture. You could almost be forgiven for mistaking it for water. There is a hint of sweetness towards the end betraying that it is made from corn. I actually didn't know what it was made from until I tasted it and the faintest trace of corn caught my attention. But really, this is remarkably neutral especially for the price point. I will note there is some bitterness at the end as well with a medium lingering burn, the only indicators this is alcohol and not just sweetened water. All in all Smirnoff isn't a bad vodka. It just can't really differentiate itself or bring anything to the table. That may not be a bad thing at all. After all, vodka is *meant* to be neutral. Put this thing in the freezer and you can take shots to your heart's content. At this point whether you spend more money just depends on how much you want to lessen the burn when it goes down.

Some time late last year (Happy New Year, everyone!), between drinking other things, I decided to compare some popular vodkas to see which one I preferred to keep around, and if they were even distinct enough to bother caring about. I noted the overall character (which turns out to have a surprising variety among vodkas), and a separate "smoothness" (because this the only type of drink where you should probably care about that). Let's start with the least interesting vodka, the staple at every party that has ever existed: Smirnoff No. "those who drink this are typically not quite" 21. Cheap grain and vanilla, some alcohol, but not oppressive. Sweeter than I remember, not a lot of flavor. A strange muted taste sensation almost like your nose is being held, but the vanilla is still there. Just a tinge of salt at the end. There is nothing special here. This is vodka. Mix it with whatever, and drink it to get inebriated. This is meant to be a starting point to compare with what I found to be much more interesting ones. Character: salty vanilla Smoothness: 3.25, Overall: 2.5

I used to drink this in college and always believed this to be just a cheap bottom shelf Vodka and as I aged I drank less Vodka and more Bourbon and other whiskeys and now I have made my way back to Smirnoff. It is not as bad as I remember but I do like Ketel One and Sobieski better. This is smooth enough to drink on the rock but neat it needs to be very cold. I mainly use vodkas to mix with other things and with Smirnoff I make Vodka Martinis and Vesper Martinis with Sutler's Gin and Cocchi Americano Bianco. And for that Smirnoff is perfectly fine. I do not look to any vodka for deep flavors and lingering tastes. That is what the whiskey family is for. This is a solid addition to my bar and it is at a very good price. Enjoy.

Nose - dry grain, light vanilla, subtle herbal and pepper notes, mild to moderate ethanol burn. Taste - sweet grain, vanilla, grapefruit zest, dry ginger or black pepper, mild to moderate alcohol bite, finishing fast and clean with dry vanilla, sweet grain, and pepper flavors. Wow, this seems even more neutral than the Skyy I tasted yesterday. They’re generally very similar, but the Smirnoff gives off less fumes and seems to have even less character. It’s not bad per se, but rather just extremely bland. Hey it’s $20 for a handle, so at least the price is right. I like this more than Tito’s and a bit less than Skyy. And I’d still rather drink Jim Beam Original.

You all know it. Most of you have had it. It’s as straightforward as vodka (or any spirit for that matter) can be. Very neutral on the nose, with just a light bit of sweet cereal smell. On the palate, even more neutral. It’s just slightly sweet, and a bit oily. Needless to say this is a go-to for mixing purposes, and as far as budget vodka goes, it’s right in the middle of the pack.

About as neutral and characterless as they come. No reason to ever drink it neat. That being said, having no flavor is better than having a bad flavor, which other cheap vodkas have. When making giant batches of bloody mary’s for many people, this hits in the price point of being nicely affordable without ruining our scratch-made mix.